ADHD ~ It Can Happen to Anybody!
Recently, I had an intake session with a famous professor from an Ivy League University. Five minutes before the session, his secretary called to let me know he would be 10 minutes late for the call. Exactly 10 minutes after the hour, my phone rang. The first thing this Ivy League professor told me was that he is tired of getting lost! He said, “I’ve taken this route for the last 15 years, and I get lost two or three times a month! I don’t get it!”
I told him I understood why he must be frustrated and said that this was a good place to start our coaching. He then told me that the reason he decided to get a coach was because of an incident at a recent conference he presented at. My client left the conference to go to the restroom before his presentation, but got lost in the Hotel and couldn’t even remember the name of the room! He was supposed to start his talk at 10:00 am and it was already 10:15! He finally saw a colleague, who told him that everybody was worried something had happened to him. Of course, my client was embarrassed. But then he started laughing at himself and decided to tell this story to start his presentation!
“I know you were all wondering where I was, so I will tell you. I was lost in the hotel! You might not believe me, but I have to admit that sometimes I could even get lost in my own complex at home!”
Everybody laughed at his story, and he was able to flow seamlessly into the presentation he prepared for the conference.
After hearing this story, I explained to my client the relationship between ADHD and Executive Functioning, and he told me that this is exactly what he experiences! He said his Executive Functioning skills are absent! Not only does he get lost, but his desk is a mess, he loses important papers all the time, and forgets appointments at least once a week.
I asked him how many secretaries he has and he told me just one! Then I asked him about his wife. He told me that his wife was his exact opposite and takes care of all the details that he had trouble paying attention to. I asked him whether he would consider his wife his Executive Secretary to make up for his Executive Functioning challenges? He laughed and said he never thought about it that way but it sure makes sense and he thinks he owes his success mainly to his wife for taking care of all the things he isn’t good at. We were both laughing at that point and I told him that I’m sure his wife needed a bit of a break, and he should continue working with his strengths but also learn some tools to help improve his Executive Functioning to take some of the pressure away from his wife.
My client said he has one secret tool he uses – humor. He always laughs at himself, when he is alone and with others. He said humor is the one thing that has helped lessen the shame he feels about all the basic tasks that he has hard time with! It decreases his anxiety and alleviates the frustration that builds up when he can’t figure something out.
And now, what does he do when he speaks at a conference? He tells everybody what happened to him that day. And, if he needs to use the restroom in the middle of conference, he always asks a volunteer to follow him!
